Wishlist by Karen Jones

Fiction

Dear Santa

I’ve been a good girl all year (well, mostly – apart from the hamster-related incident).  I’d like a new Barbie (my big brother did experiments on the last one and now it’s scary), the new iPhone, an Owleez and a L.O.L Surprise Fashion Factory (my big brother hates L.O.L, so that one is really important).

Thank you,

Claire Reynolds

*

Dear Santa

I’ve been a good boy all year (well, mostly – apart from the thing with the Bunsen burner and the school guinea pig).  I’d like a new tool kit (reckon I’ll have some more Barbies to experiment on), a Fortnite Nerf (wee sister’s dolls will be perfect target practice, as will wee sister), and a remote-control robot I can use to scare my mum.

Thank you,

Simon Reynolds

*

Dear Santa

I’ve been a good boy all year (well, mostly – apart from the affair with my secretary, but no one has found out about that, so it doesn’t count).  I’d like a new car (secretary doesn’t like the current model), an iPad air to keep at the office so no family members can check my browsing history, a year’s supply of Viagra (delivered to the office) and a box of champagne, also delivered to the office (to get the secretary in the mood).

Thank you,

George Reynolds

*

Dear Santa

I’ve been a good girl all year (all bloody year, every bloody year).  I’d like access to my husband’s private account, a face-lift, a boob-job, a toy-boy, some dog shit moulded to look like a chocolate heart, wrapped up with red satin bows, addressed to husband’s secretary, and, finally, an exploding wishbone to shove up his arse after we’ve carved the turkey.

If this all seems like too much to ask, I’ll settle for the exploding wishbone.

Thank you,

Melissa Reynolds.

 

Biography
Karen Jones is from Glasgow. She has been successful in competitions including Mslexia, Flash 500, Words With Jam and Ad Hoc Fiction and published in numerous ezines, magazines and anthologies Her work has been nominated for Best of the Net, Pushcart Prize and is included in Best Small Fictions 2019.

Image: unsplash.com

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