He has expensive ear prosthetics and flowing, silver-white hair. I ask for sausage and chips and his name. Expecting something gloriously lyrical, ethereal. He says Keith, shakes his chip basket. The woman…

After his wife dies, her wine keeps arriving monthly, twelve bottles each from two clubs, the first his birthday gift to her, the second, more expensive, for an anniversary. To replace the…

‘It’s how they recognise the dead people.’ The receptionist announced it when you checked in today. The swaggery one who’d gloated how new grilles in the patient toilet would stop the skint…

Violence would solve this problem. Printer error, read the LED screen. Please open and close the paper tray. Terry had already opened and slammed the paper tray half a dozen times. ‘Come…

It’s a warm Sunday night in early October, and my best friend Brownie and I sit high up in the bleachers next to a small baseball field. Behind us is a large…

Removed and uncoiled, Amy’s brain stretches from the chip shop to the war memorial. It winds like wet-warm yarn past the library, the pub, the school where she teaches. It finishes up…

Shortly after his appearance on the game show, the mechanic became a meme on the internet. It was a strange time. At the peak of his odd fame, a twenty-two year-old influencer…

The Christmas Gnome came the last week of October. With Halloween nearly here, he said, it was time to start planning ahead. “Real tree or fake?” he asked. “Fake,” I said because…

Night pressed herself against the river, which offered in return a reflection of the pumpkin lanterns strung between the trees, their lights bobbing and disappearing in rhythm with the water’s will. Kathy…

For my first assignment I chose to sever my ring finger. In retrospect, that was unwise; ideally, fingers ought to be preserved. Many opted to submit a more frivolous appendage, like a…